Shannan's Page

September 11. 2009.

Rocks Vrs. Marbles. By Shannan Parker

Did you as a child play with rocks? Did you use them for stacking, building or finding the perfect flat stone for skipping across the lake? If you're a girl they would often turn into some fancy dish on the menu for an imaginary family's evening meal.  There was a wonderful contentment with the rocks in my hand until one day I found a marble in the middle of them. It was like I uncovered a magnificent buried treasure dropped long ago by a pirate as he carried his box of jewels away from his latest siege.  As I picked up the marble to dust it off, my eyes and heart skipped with amazement. In the polishing process I saw many beautiful colours and layers unfold. Holding the marble up to the sun, I discovered a whole new array of colours dancing in the center.  From the pile of dirt the marble is found in to the hands of the adventurist child, there's wonder and excitement in finding this gem. It's quickly spit shined and vigorously polished and scrubbed until we can see the rare find. This is not just a mere rock to be tossed into the river. No, this one is different. This one is tried and tested as the embedded earth is chipped away and it's splendour is revealed. It's carefully washed in the pure water of the flowing stream. It's then cradled in the palm of the one who's heart leaps with joy as it's carried home. The marble gains a place in the child's room and heart the rocks never could.  What causes a child's heart to treasure this unique little stone? What eyes does he or she see through?  Maybe, if just for a moment, they've gained the eyes of our heavenly Father! Could this be how God views us? At first glance we appear as every other rock, but God in His love and zeal for us knows there's much more than a dirty stone. There's a beauty hidden underneath, so He chips and scrapes and allows the heat from being in His presence to cause the beauty to shine. Awww... This is the way it was intended to be, He says with a smile. He purges the effects the world has had on us then holds us up to the Son. Many will look his direction with His light shining through us. 

I remember my Mom coming home with a shiny new bag of marbles. To this day I still do not know how to play the game. I took all my time searching each one for it's own rainbow of colours. Not one was the same, but all where beautiful. I don't fully remember what the trade off was that day but I never went back to the pile of rocks. I now held in my hands something of great value.

How often do we refuse to trade our old for God's new?  He wants to take our pile of rocks and replace them with something beautiful. Something that will cause our eyes to dance and bring lasting joy to our heart. How can He give us this hope if our hands are full of plain ole rocks? We cling to what we already possess but if we will learn to trust Him and allow Him to cleanse our hands of the old. He will hand us a life full of wonder and colour.

Dear God,  Do not let the spirit of fear keep me from all you have for me. I want to surrender my pile of rocks. I want to surrender the things and thoughts I have acquired for the life you've established long ago for me. Help me. Show me how. Protect me. Lead the way. "To console those who mourn in Zion, To give them beauty for ashes, The oil of joy for mourning, The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; That they may be called trees of righteousness, The planting of the LORD, that He may be glorified."  Isa. 61:3.  If we do not surrender our ashes how can we grab hold of the beauty?  

 

July 6. 2009

How can we live a life that will bring blessing? Where does your help come from? I have become so very aware that my actions, every decision, will impact not only me but those around me and those who will follow behind me. I must take responsibility for the path I choose and the blessing or curse I will bring to the generations to follow. 

 

Deut. 4:29-31

"But from there you will seek the Lord your God, and you will find Him if you seek Him with all your heart and with all your soul. When you are in distress, and all these things come upon you in the latter days, When you turn to the Lord your God and obey His voice, (for the Lord your God is a merciful God), He will not forsake you nor destroy you, nor forget the covenant of your fathers which He swore to them."

 

Whatever you may be going through today, God will never leave you alone. He will be with you through the fire and raise you up again to soar with the eagles. He will strengthen you in the storms of life and place you on the mountain top again. Take time to listen for His voice. If we listen, we will hear and we will know His plan. His plan is perfect and safe.

 

Dear God,

You alone are God. You are high above any other, all mighty, all knowing sovereign and Holy. Thank You for choosing me. Thank You for pulling me out of the pit of death. Thank You for loving me. For whatever life throws my way, I know You are with me and will work all things for my good and Your glory. All glory belongs to You alone. Father direct my footsteps. Take my life and make it Your own. Set me on the perfect path You've planned for me even before time began. When my work is complete, allow me to close my eyes in rest at home in heaven with You. Transform my heart today that I may seek You with everything in me. Don't let me fall, don't let me hide. Fill me with Your truth. Open my ears to hear only You so I can know the next step. Please keep me from straying. Give me a mind and heart that longs to please You above all else. God, Abba, help me live a life that will bless the generations to follow. In Christ Jesus alone strengthen me.

 

How can I know God's plan? How can I hear His voice?

 

Deut. 4:35-36, 39-40

"To you it was shown, that you might know that the Lord Himself is God; there is none other beside Him. Out of heaven He let you hear His voice that He might instruct you; on earth He showed you His great fire, and you heard His words out of the mist of the fire ... Therefore know this day, and consider it in your heart, that the Lord Himself is God in heaven above and on earth beneath; there is no other. You shall therefore keep His statutes and His commandments which I command you today, that it may go well with you and your children after you, and that you may prolong your days in the land which the Lord your God is giving you for all time"

 

Seek and you will find, listen and you will hear, look and you will see, He is God and keeps His promises.

 

-Shannan Parker

   

 

 

                      

MAY 7. 2009.

     shannan_2

Responsibility in Holding Hearts:      

I've just been told by someone very dear, "My heart feels safe with you"These last few months, weeks, days, I'm noticing any who come to me and share from very deep personal areas of their heart.  I'm hearing stories of painful childhood experiences and traumas both self inflicted and unavoidable at every angle. Age has not been a barrier. Pain has no prejudice. Every act of selfish ambition has a domino effect often causing tears to fall for many years.

Dear God give me wisdom.  Take my mind, take my heart, take my hands. Just as wrongs done, touch generations so also will righteousness, this I have not without You.

I've gone as far as praying for God to not allow me to live in "my girl mind". Maybe it would be better phrased, " In the mind of our society", because we live in a very self-absorbed culture, but I am writing from the perspective of God change me. Change begins right here. If I am unwilling to pull the plank from my own eye (Matt. 7:4-5 ) and swallow my pride , I have no right to try to remove the splinter from my neighbors eye.  Nor do I have any ability to lead the broken to the place of absolute healing.  The blind cannot lead the blind  (Matt. 15: 14) ; we will end up blind and crippled.  So I pray for God to give me His eyes and illuminate His path.  

" Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast  spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence, and do not take Your Holy Spirit from me.  Restore to me the joy of my salvation and uphold me with your generous Spirit. Then I will teach transgressors Your ways and sinners shall be converted to You." ~ Psalm 51: 10-13.  

Fears arise in me from childhood wrongs and the memories of injustice over the last three years cause me to coil back into the false safety bubble I've built throughout the years. To this I say, NO!  No more listening to that voice that tells me I'm broken.  No more running from the very thing, the very One I need to make me whole.  How can I carry these precious hearts handed me to the Father if I myself am unwilling to hand Him mine?

Many precious people have and are entering my life.  The relationships all take on different structures, but all have great value.  Whether it be a brief conversation with a passerby , a young person pouring out fears, or a close friend who also shares in my struggles, we all need each other.

We have a great responsibility to those who cross our path.  If it be for a short season or a lifelong relationship my life must remain a testamony to God's truth.  Through the gentle season of summer or the harsh trials of winter I am to cling to God and trust Him. I myself must die that He can live in me and so His love can touch others through me.  In short, my actions must match my words.  This does not mean I will never fail or make a mistake, but hopefully the life I consistently live will reflect God's heart.  God's truth is where freedom is found.  I myself must submit to truth if I am to be a reliable source of leading someone to the healer, to life.

~Shannan Parker

4/29/2009

 

MARCH 31, 2009

It's WOW!  I love you my friends, and want you to walk into this day knowing how God is absolutely in every detail of our very existence.  You are never alone, never forgotten and loved far beyond what your human mind can imagine.  We are not a mistake.  Our lives are not just meant to be lived so that we can die, they're lived so that we can truly LIVE.  God knows our name.  He's literally in every breath and every heartbeat.

For those who want scientific proof, here you go.  This is an amazing 8 minute video clip.  If there was an ounce of doubt in me, it's gone!

Please click on the link below to watch the video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_e4zgJXPpI4

May God's Joy Fill Our Hearts Today,
~Shannan 


Enough To Know December 12,2008  (1 of 2)


There’s something about the quiet of a plane ride that allows me to focus and pen my thoughts.  Today I am on my way to Canada to speak at a concert held in memory of Warren.  I know this four day journey will come with many surprises and a whole lot of surrender.  I struggled with the decision to make this trip for many reasons, but as I sit here on this very crowded express flight first stopping in Washington, I am at complete peace.

A few Sunday’s back I stood in the evening worship service at my church.  I have felt the Holy Spirit  move through me before but this night was different.  The room was full and the aisle crowded so, I felt a bit restricted to raise my hands or kneel.  But in my little personal space I found serenity.  I had my left hand extended as high as I could, reaching to Father God while my right hand was tucked close to my heart in a loose fist.  I was thanking God for His freedom and praising Him because He deserves my praise.

In gentleness, I began to feel the lower parts of my legs start to tingle.  After a few seconds the sensation moved over my knees, up through the core of my body and out my arms.  “What are You doing God?  What do You want from me?”  No response came.  For a second time the feeling came and again I asked the same questions.  There was no response but the next phrase of the song being sung was, “Chains Be Broken, Lives be healed, Eyes be opened, Christ is revealed.”  A few more minutes passed and the sensation returned for the third time.  The tingle began and moved through my body and out my arms.  Once more I asked, “God, what are You doing?  What do You want from me?”  Then came the quiet knowing in my heart, “It’s enough to know I have you.  I am healing the brokenness.”

God may not have told me my next step, but He did tell me He has me.  Closing the doors of the past are not forgetting.  I will never forget and neither will those who knew Warren.  Laying down the sorrow is not denying the pain of the valley we are crossing, but it’s believing God when He promises good.  We are simply surrendering to hope. This makes our life a testimony to others to show God is who He says He is and will do what He says He will do.

If God says I am His child, then I have full access to the inheritance of His kingdom.  Isaiah 61 tells me, I am a priest of the Lord and I will receive a double portion for what was destroyed.  He will give me beauty for ashes, strength for fear, gladness for sorrow and peace for despair.  This does not mean trials will not come my way again.  God’s word does tell us, “No weapon formed against me will prosper.”  Therefore, I can walk in peace and strength, with boldness standing firm on His word.  I will not be crushed because, “Greater is He that is in me than he that is in this world.” (1 John 4:4)

Today my wings are being developed; tomorrow I soar!  ~Shannan Parker


 

December 15, 2008  (2 of 2.) continued..

I knew this trip to Canada was one I needed to make. There were so many emotions stirred on a multitude of levels, yet with each one I was at complete peace.
 
Since the beginning of this journey I have known God was with me, but the peace I’ve experienced this weekend was different.  I’m not sure I can fully explain in written word what it is I am feeling, but joy is present.  There are many things I pray for and a lot left to discover, but right now it’s enough to know God is “healing the brokenness.”

I really wasn’t sure what to expect when I walked into the church for the first time.  This was my first time back in the sanctuary where Warren’s funeral was held.  I asked that I be allowed to arrive before anyone else to see and process any emotions I might experience.  I walked through the church several times, then stood in the sanctuary for a few moments.  Complete peace!  I decided to take a few extra minutes to search deeper, making sure I was dealing with every possible emotion.  As I thanked God for my life with Warren, peace and rest filled my mind and heart.  I can breathe again.

Before I left to fly home to Nashville today, Warren’s family and I had a deep heartfelt conversation.  Things have changed.  There’s a new reality of how my life will move forward and take on many new dynamics.  My responsibilities have changed and I will take on new identities.  I am no longer Shannan Parker of the Parker Trio and sadly no longer Warren’s wife.  I don’t quite know what this all means, but the atmosphere is changing.

Last July, I struggled as I faced what would have been our 12th anniversary.  “Not fair” was the extent of my conversation with God.  I remember waking up to the reality Warren no longer needs me.  At that time, this realization was painful, to say the least.  I loved being needed by him.  Today I smile, knowing God has him and he does not have to face the hardships of this life any longer.  All my dreams I thought were lost I now understand are simply delayed.  I take hold of hope.  Hope of a life and a future, (Jer. 29:11).  I have handed God my heart and asked Him to keep it safe.  I continue to pray for wisdom and discernment, asking God to illuminate the path He has for me so I cannot miss it.  May I not run ahead or fall behind His perfect will already laid out for my life.  I pray He make me fully aware of the counterfeit over the real, because I have discovered in past experience the enemy will dangle a forgery just before God reveals His perfect.  I am choosing to trust God in the waiting place.

I have thought often of the process we would go through to enter a prison.  We would have to pass through two sets of gates.  Our identification would be checked and verified in order to walk through the fist gate, once inside we would have to wait.  The inner gates would not open until the first set of gates closed and locked.  After several minutes the next set of chains, steel and razors would open, but only if those in charge on the inside were ready to accept our visit.

I feel as if I’m standing in between these two gates.  It’s hard not to be anxious but I will wait for God to determine when it’s time for me to take my next step.  I’ve come to realize and accept what an adventure life is.  I am excited and look forward to writing the ever unfolding story of victory in this journey.

Beauty from ashes, pray and hold on
There’ll be beauty from ashes, though it seems hope is gone
Find the courage to stand, God is working His plan
From disaster to glory, He’s still writing your story
Beauty from ashes, He heals the wounded soul
There’ll be beauty from ashes, He is still in control
Though there’s sorrow in this place, It will change with time and grace
There’ll be beauty from ashes

Sung by Parker Trio
Words & Music by Holice Depp Britt, Jr.

Where your situation seems to be covered in death, hold on.  When your dreams seem to have been ripped from your heart and hands, don’t give up.  Take every thought captive.  Learn to recognize the voice of the enemy and turn your ear from him to listen to the voice of truth, the Fathers voice.

“For God has not given us the spirit of fear, but of power and love and of a sound mind,” (1 Tim. 1:7).

The second half of your life does not have to carry the same struggles as the first half.  This is a lie from the enemy to rob you of God’s peace.

With Sincere Love,
Shannan Parker


 

NOVEMBER 18. 2008...  My Journey Home

"In the meantime, when an innumerable multitude of people had gathered together, so that they trampled one another, He began to say to His disciples first of all, “Beware of the leaven of the Pharisees, which is hypocrisy.  For there is nothing covered that will not be known.  Therefore whatever you have spoken in the dark will be heard in the light, and what you have spoken in the ear in inner rooms will be proclaimed on the housetops.

And I say to you, My friends, do not be afraid of those who kill the body, and after that have no more that they can do.  But I will show you whom you should fear: Fear Him who, after He has killed, has power to cast into hell; yes, I say to you, fear Him!  Are not five sparrows sold for two copper coins?  And, not one of them is forgotten before God.  But the very hairs on your head are all numbered.  Do not fear therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows.
~Luke 12:1-7

There are so many emotions and thoughts swirling in my mind as I walk through the Atlanta, GA airport.  I just said my final goodbyes to Warren’s family and am headed to my connecting flight home to Nashville, TN.  As I walk to my gate, I hear the music of Michael W. Smith begin to play in the loud speaker, “Looking for a reason, roaming through the night to find my place in this world, my place in this world.  Not a lot to lean on, I need Your light to help me find my place in this world, my place in this world….”  We just left South Carolina after the final court hearing for the man who killed Warren.  Baffled over the outcome, I now must come to grips with the reality of the cold world we live. Six year suspended sentence with two years probation.

I feel lost.  I know that God is with me.  I know that God is in control of every step I take, but what I know and what I feel do not always join hands.  I’ve talked over the last two weeks with my closest friends and told them I feel like we are all about to round some corners, metaphorically speaking.  Many of us are in huge transition, both in the physical and spiritual realm.  Speaking for myself, I am trying to be very careful to listen for God’s voice.  I have become very aware that there’s always a pretty good looking counterfeit before the real.  Now I pray for discernment in knowing the difference.

As Warren’s wife, he was my purpose.  Apart from God, he was the one I was dedicated to.  He had my time and energy and I took great delight in my responsibilities as his wife.  It was my pleasure to bring him his breakfast, lunch and dinner as he sat at his keyboard and fully used the gift God gave him.  There is not a single regret in being identified as “Warren’s wife.” I know the man, Warren, was not perfect nor was I by any stretch.  I knew his short comings, his fears, his frustrations as did he mine.  But he was made perfect for me for those ten years we were together.  

I was asked to describe Warren in one word in an interview just after his death.  My word waswaswaswas was “exceptional”.  There are many more words I can add to this list, such as trustworthy, man of integrity, honest,uqirky and not to mention - a male diva…haha!  One time Angie, our soprano, decided to time him from the time he got in the shower to the time he was ready to walk out the door.  Two hours!  Warren took two hours !  We all got a good laugh over this.  The one good thing he could never say a word about how long it took me to get ready.  I will defend him in saying he did not always take this long.  He could get ready much faster if he needed to.

As I close this chapter of my journey, I do so with tears.  My tears are not the lack of hope or faith; they are my hearts cry to my heavenly Father.  I cry to Him for strength because I have grown weary.  I plead with Him for comfort in the sadness and for direction for feeling lost.  I am human and I am scared.  I’m scared because I do not know my next step.  I do cling tightlto the gospel, “Do not fear therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows.”

My hopes and dreams were stripped from me on January 7, 2006.  Many times over the last almost three years I have had to re-live that night, those days, and the weeks to follow.  I have witnessed injustice at its core.  I know this,  “I say to you, My friends, do not be afraid of those who kill the body, and after that have no more that they can do.  But I will show you whom you should fear: Fear Him who, after He has killed, has power to cast into hell; yes, I say to you, fear Him!” and true.  He was a person of sincere love, he was funny and joyful, and I could go on.  He was

It may seem as if evil prevails, but when time as we know it is finished, God will make all wrongs right.  Until then, I lay down my yesterday, trust God alone, and do what Warren said to do, “Live.”  I must learn to dream again.

I am no longer Warren’s wife and he no longer needs me, so I write my final letter to him. ~~~~~~~

Oh My Dearest Wawee, My eyes are weary from tears.  I miss you my love.  Thank you for all the wonderful years and the treasures you gave to me.  You taught me so much about unconditional love, even when I made it hard on you.  You honored me as your wife, your friend, your partner, yourself.  You believed in me when I struggled within myself and encouraged me when fear held me captive.  Warren, you prayed with me and for me, gladly taking on the responsibility to be my earthly covering.  Your sincere love for God and for me gave you the strength and desire to stay pure from the temptations of the world.  Thank you for being faithful and trustworthy.

I miss you, my handyman.  You always amazed me at the things you could fix.  You did scare me when you would take apart that new electronic just to see how it worked, but your curiosity was a huge part of why I loved you.  I only wish I had the courage you had.  Maybe in some strange way it was your great ability to fix things that allowed me to find comfort in your arms while you held me when my heart was sad.  I only wish those arms were here to hold me now.

The beginning of December, 2005, you felt the need to apologize for the times you let me down.  I remember that conversation well.  We were off the road for Christmas break and on our way to Wal-Mart.  At that time, my favorite place…(smiles).  I don’t know what prompted you to start the conversation, it seemed like it came out of the blue, but you amazed me and though I thought it impossible, I fell even deeper in love with you.  You had become a man humble in heart and strong in spirit.

I never got to tell you some of my thoughts that last day you were here with me.  We were on our way to South Carolina just after New Years.  Just a few hours from home we stopped for you to run into Wal-Mart.  You came back on the bus with the case of water I’d asked you to pick up, but you got the “wrong” kind.  I tilted my head and asked if you would exchange it.  “Really?” you asked.  I smiled and told you this is the one kind that tasted funny.  You took a deep breath and turned to take it back.  As you stepped off the bus, I remember the jacket you wore, I thought to myself, Wow, he really does love ME.  I knew you did, but at that moment the absolute reality of just how blessed I was overwhelmed me.  I knew you were a treasure and a very rare find in our world today.  I thought about what a great father you would be to our future children.

I miss you so!  You questioned me in a walk just days before you were taken, “You know you’re my best friend, right?”  Later that day you were at your keyboard being your creative self, as I walked in with sandwich in hand,

Oh My Love, you were taken from me too soon.  I have wrestled with many emotions over the last few years.  Knowing that I had to say goodbye this early in life seems so unfair, but I do not regret for a second the short life God gave me with you.  God has so clearly told me “I have him.”  With this, I breathe.  I know you are fine and no longer need me.

I remember you waking me up in the middle of the night just to tell me I was strong.  Honestly, I was waiting for the punch line of the joke, but you were very serious and repeated it three times before you turned back over to sleep.  I never understood why you felt the need to tell me that until January 8th, 2006.  At this time you were already hand and hand with Jesus.  I know you just wanted to encourage me, but God knew there was a greater purpose for those words.  As we talked about extending our family and talked about all the joys and fears of this next step, we talked about the “What If’s.”  You said, we cannot live life or make decisions in fear.  If anything were to happen to you, you wanted me to live.

I’m rounding a corner in my life, Warren.  I don’t fully understand what this means, but I thank you for loving me so deeply to give me your blessing to “Live.”  There will always be a place in my heart that belong to you.  There is no replacement for the Warren compartment, but you in your wisdom knew that the heart holds many compartments.  You always said you were blessed, but I was the one who had such favor in having you love me.  You said, “I would want someone to take care of you…”  These words may bring me pain now in realizing my loss, but they also set me free to “live.”  THANK YOU, WARREN, for trusting me with your heart and for giving me more than the words of this letter could ever express.  I Love You!

Little One

“He lives, He lives, Jesus Lives,
Where sorrow was, joy is
The One who died now is alive,
New life is His,  Jesus Lives.”

‘He Lives’
Recorded By ‘The Parker Trio’ 2004
Words and Music By Jeff R. Steele & Marty Funderburk you spun around in your chair with a huge smile, “Little One, Thank you for letting me live my big dream!”  You pulled me over on your lap and hugged me.  We had a brief heart to heart, but I was so amazed at the man you’d become and the family God gave me in you.

 ~Shannan Parker


 

Tuesday November 11. 2008

The Family of Warren all prepare to leave for South Carolina on Sunday Nov. 16. Brandt & Angie White will also join them.......THE COURT DATE HAS BEEN CHANGED TO MONDAY NOV. 17.2008

Your Prayers Are Welcomed For Our Next Journey.

May God’s will be done.  This is my prayer for our next trip down to South Carolina.  All the flights were booked and ready to go for this Thursday, but the prosecutor called me yesterday to inform me the judge got busy so, he could not hear the case on Friday.  Once again we find ourselves scrambling and rearranging families and work schedules to accommodate.  As it stands we will now fly into Charleston, SC, on Sunday, Nov. 16th, and the hearing will begin Monday morning.  If the judge does not choose to accept the full terms of the plea deal, we will immediately go into a full trial by jury. This will determine if I will be gone two days or two weeks.

Please pray for God’s will in every aspect of this next hearing.  It’s one thing to have to deal with my own pain and frustration over the loss of Warren and the length of time the legal issues have been drawn out, but it pains me to see how the lack of closure tears Warren’s family apart.  My own sorrow is weight enough, but to hear and see the sadness of Brian, Edna, and Julie breaks my heart.

I sincerely want God’s will for all facets of this case.  In the end, no matter the outcome of this hearing, there will be no winners.  It will only tell us if the laws of the land will be applied and held as law or not.  Despite all, God is God.  May He have His way.

Dear God, You alone are God and I trust in You.  Father, I am at a point where I no longer know fully what to ask.  Please vindicate as You will in every aspect of this case involving Warren’s death.  You have aready shown Your hand of mercy and I pray this never ends.  Bring freedom where there needs to be freedom.  Bring forgiveness and healing where they are lacking.  I long for you to set the captives free, heal hearts, and bring salvation to all involved.  If there be evil doings, expose them.  Bring their shame to light for the nation to see.  If there be souls oppressed and their tongues bound from truth, raise courage up in them and shelter them with Your mighty arms. Only You know the hearts of all involved and their intentions.  I ask, search us, and bring favor upon Your own.  I trust only in You God. ~Amen

My deepest appreciation to all who are praying.

Shannan Parker


 

Monday October 20. 2008 - Latest news on Baker's Guilty Plea!

My trip to South Carolina was much more emotional than I had planned. I traveled there because Tim Baker was being offered a plea bargain.  The penalty for his crime carries a 1-25 year sentence.  With this plea bargain, Baker, after admitting guilt, would be guaranteed a prison sentence of no more than 6 years.  The outcome of the hearing was a little shocking, but truly an answer to prayer.  I’m still trusting God is in control.  He promised He would never give me more than I can handle, so I’m trusting Him to keep His promise.

Tim Baker stood in the courtroom, and, for the first time, he admitted his guilt in causing Warren’s death.  I was glad to hear him say the words, but they brought little comfort to my loss.  I do hope it will lead to a healthy healing process for Tim himself.  The judge asked the necessary questions to make sure Tim Baker and his attorney fully understood the conditions of the plea bargain.  After all of the questioning, the judge then accepted Tim Baker’s guilty plea, but stated that he could not accept the six year cap on the sentence until he had an opportunity to hear the entire case.  The judge will have the opportunity to hear the entire case on November 14th.  Warren’s family, Brandt, Angie and I will all fly back for this hearing.  The judge will then make his final decision regarding the six year maximum.  If the judge finds “he cannot in good conscious” accept the terms of the plea deal, we will reconvene Monday Nov. 17th to begin a full trial by jury.

I really do not know what to even ask for at this point.  Weary seems to be the word for this season, but I hold on to my Abba Father as I grow tired.  He promised if I hold on and place my hope in Him, I will soar with ‘Wings Like Eagles.’  He promised I will again run and not be weary, I will walk and not faint.

Thank you for the many prayers and the notes of encouragement.  I cherish each one of you.

Many Thanks,
Shannan


 

Tuesday October 14. 2008.

SPECIAL PRAYER REQUEST FROM SHANNAN ...Timothy Baker to plead guilty on Thursday Oct. 16.

Here I go again.  I will be flying out tomorrow for South Carolina for another plea hearing on Thursday morning. Tim Baker has agreed to the prosecuter to plead guilty Thursday morning as long as there will be a 6 year cap placed on the sentencing.  This simply means that once a judge takes the case for sentencing, Baker can only have a maximum of 6 years out of a possible twenty five that he can serve. This does not guarantee he will serve six years, only that he may serve a maximum of six years. Please be in prayer on Thursday morning for God to move the judge's heart the way he sees fit.  I have an idea what I'd like to see happen but ultimately I want God to take this tragedy and work it for His glory as He promises in His word.

I'm also asking for prayer in my physical strength. I have had a very tiring few weeks both physically and emotionally.  It has been almost 3 years since Tim Baker killed Warren. I pray God give me the strength to face this trip once more.

Many thanks to all of you who have stood by me through this difficult journey.

Love You All

Shannan


 

Thursday, October 09, 2008 God’s Sufficient Grace


And He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. (2 Corinthians 12:9)

Human strength is a strong deterrent to trusting in Christ. When we rely on our own strength, resources, and knowledge, we assume we can handle situations without help from God. We tend to divide problems into two categories: problems that we know require God’s help and problems we think we can handle on our own. Paul had a tenacious personality and an exceptionally strong will. He courageously faced angry mobs as he traveled far and wide to promote the cause of Christ. He had spent the first half of his life serving God in his own strength. However, once God gained his attention, Paul had to learn to rely on God’s strength and not his own.

Paul was afflicted with a thorn in the flesh (2 Cor. 12:7). Whatever this was, it humbled him. He had performed incredible miracles, even raising the dead, but he could not remove the affliction that God had given him, an affliction that made him depend on God. The world had seen what Paul could do in his own strength, and it was horrifying! Now God wanted to exercise His power through Paul’s life. When Paul thought he was strong, he neglected to rely upon God’s strength. Only in his weakness did Paul trust implicitly in God.

If you feel strong in an area of your life, beware! Often your strength, rather than your weakness, hinders you from trusting God. God will bring you to a point of weakness if that is what it takes to bring you to trust in Him. Do not despise your weakness, for it leads you to trust in God’s strength.


 

Wednesday October 8. 2008

Yesterday was a huge struggle for me.  I have so much to accomplish and so little of me. The weight and pain of missing Warren was heavy to the point everything from the simplest of tasks became a challenge. My heart and mind were screaming 'WHY' but my spirit already knew God is very much in every aspect of my life. I keep hearing God say, 'I have him and I am leading you.' To be honest, I didn't want to hear it yesterday. My response to God, 'I miss him!'

Do you ever have one of those days where it seems everything breaks and no matter how hard you work your list just gets longer? Monday held all these things for me, at least from my perspective. I did not feel like dealing with anymore than I already had going. Then my phone rang with issues of the criminal trial regarding Warren's death. This journey seems never ending and feels so lonely.

I tell you these things not for sympathy, but so you understand I feel all the stuff the world throws my way just like the next person. I am not in anyway exempt from the pains of this world and I'm not untouched by the sorrows that fill it. It took me all day to acknowledge God as my hope and strength because I wanted to be a brat for a while. How's that for honesty? I have an entire house to paint, so I decided I was locking myself in only to go out long enough to walk my dog Coady. I threw my hair on top of my head, put on my already paint covered clothes and turned the music up to fill the silence. I would paint some then stop to cry  for a minute and then paint some more. My body ached from the pressures of life but I refused to curl up in a ball. After all, the walls will not paint themselves. It was probably about 7:00 o'clock in the evening before I got out of my own head to verbalize these words.

My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus blood and righteousness I dare not trust the sweetest frame But wholly trust on Jesus' name

On Christ the solid rock I stand All other ground is sinking sand All other ground is sinking sand

words by Edward Mote 1834

It did not surprise me when I opened my email this morning to see this following devotion in my Inbox.  God is good and He is faithful to remind us as often as we need of His Mighty hand and His absolute wisdom. When Job surrendered all his thoughts and prayed for his friends God restored twice what he had lost. Keep in mind, the friends Job prayed for were the same friends who told him to curse God and implied his suffering was a result of sin. Even in Job's frustration and many questions of 'WHY', Job never cursed God and continued to love those who spoke out of judgment.

Today, I will paint some more, pray for my friends and talk to God again. Today, through the lonely moments and the quiet, 'I Will Sing Praise.'

No matter the storm that comes my way No matter the trials I may face  You promised, You would see me through  So I will trust in You.

words by Regi Stone/ Michael Popham 2003.

Shannan Parker.


 

Thursday October 2. 2008. A short thought from Shannan...

I do often forget there were prayers from Jesus Himself that Father God simply said no to. We hear Jesus pray in the garden just before His arrest, torture and brutal crucifixion,' O My Father, if it be your will let this cup pass from me, nevertheless, not as I will, but as You will' (Matthew 26:39) The man Jesus was in much distress over the coming event to the point His sweat became like drops of blood, (Luke 22:44) He pleaded with His Father to take from Him the burden He carried. God did not remove the source of pain but He did give Jesus the strength to fulfill God's redemptive plan. In Jesus' willingness to accept the path laid out for His life, the joys along with the sorrows, all mankind can be saved from sin. We cannot save a soul but in our obedience we can make a positive eternal difference that may lead someone to eternal life through Christ Jesus. Either way, we will impact those we come in contact with. The choice is ours as to which impression we leave, a mark of destruction or an imprint of love.

If you are praying through a painful place continue to do so, and remember God always answers. Do not forget Jesus' story did not end on the cross but in His resurrection. Real joy and true life always follow obedience.

Shannan Parker.

Be sure to give a smile and a kind word to those you pass by, you may be exactly what they've prayed for today.

My most peaceful moments in life are those before God's throne.  With this knowledge I choose today to seek Him rather than my victory.  In the painful and lonely places, He is present and powerful to guide me through.  If I should need to cry I will cry, for He gathers my tears as offerings of prayer and prepares the answer.  I AM HIS!

~Shannan

'As my mother says, 'You give back, you don't give up.' You can always choose to help others.
 If you do, it will change you.' ~Susan Ford
One Day AT A Time... Because
Every Day IS Precious
Gary


 

Friday September 26. 2008

Wow, it’s early.  I’ve always had an issue with sleep and this morning is no exception.  However, I am learning to ask God what He wants from me.  Over the course of the last few years, I have found myself praying more intently and with a deeper burden for others.  As I hear of situations, good or bad, it has become more automatic for me to whisper a quick prayer.  I often find myself waking up at 3am with a need weighing heavy on my heart.  I will admit, I still struggle with recognizing exactly why my sleep has once again been interrupted. After all of the tossing and turning and shifting of my pillow, I finally ask God, “What is it?”  Now, as you’re reading this, let me make sure I do not mislead you.  Please do not picture Shannan all snuggled in a cozy bed, then waking up and gently removing the covers from her eyes as she smiles at God and righteously whispers a “Speak Lord - for your servant is listening” prayer.  Oh, yes, I read some of you.  So, let me paint a more realistic picture of this process.  It starts with a few hours of tossing and turning.  Back and forth I shift. The covers come off, the covers come back on. I fluff the pillow, I get rid of the pillow all together. I run my hands through my hair and look around the room to see if a light is bothering me or if perhaps a noise may have woken me up…and on it goes.  Only when all options seem exhausted does it ever cross my mind to look up with a great, whiny cry and ask, “WHAT???”  Add a long sigh and you should have a more accurate picture of the process.

Once I’m up, I take a moment to make a cup of coffee and just be silent.  As my head clears from the frustration I just put myself through, I then begin to sense God’s presence.  He is so precious.  Many times, I will begin writing like I am now. Or, sometimes I just sit in silence waiting to hear from Him.  If nothing or no one specific comes to mind, I begin to pray for those most present in my life. While doing this, the list will often expand and sometimes lead to the person or people God was calling upon me to pray for.  Then, there are times when this silence becomes especially personal and forces me to deal with my own walk with God.

I now understand why God wakes me to pray and write in the wee hours of the morning.  Like most of us, I tend to fill my days full of “tasks” and constant noise.  We rely on the clamor of the TV, the music on the radio, or continual conversation to drown out the self-conscious voices in our head.  Rarely do we stop to take a quiet pause during the day.  The western world is always in constant motion, probably so we can achieve some false sense of self-worth by keeping busy.  Maybe we do this to cover the pain of past hurts or to cope with a pain that is very present.  Maybe it’s a past rejection that causes us to evade stillness.  Whatever the case may be, when I finally stop, listen and allow myself to let God purge my heart, a great weight is lifted.  I tend to smile easier, laugh more freely and breathe deeply knowing God is good, loving, merciful and mighty.

I know it’s been awhile since I wrote last.  I do apologize.  I will write in more detail later regarding my recent move and provide an update on what has unfolded since the beginning of the year.  Today, I simply wanted to remind all of you how very special you are to me, and, most importantly, how valuable you are to God.  He longs to communicate with you.  His love and His desire to take the burdens we carry are so great He’s willing to pursue us at any cost.  Just as He called out to Adam and Eve in the garden even after they sinned against Him, (Gen. 3:8) He continues to call to us.  Let me encourage you to take a moment today to find a quiet place, if even for just a moment.  Take that moment to listen for His voice.  Allow yourself the release of a good cry, and remember tears are a prayer language.  If you’re hurt or angry, tell God about it. Even if you’re mad at Him, He can take it.  Once you tell Him what you feel, then watch and listen because He will answer.  Be honest with God and with yourself.  Sometimes others cause us pain and sometimes the pain is self-afflicted.  Acknowledge what it is and allow God to bring His peace to the situation.  God Loves You.

Matt. 11:29-30
"Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”

In Loving Prayer,
Shannan Parker

As I finished writing this I received a note from my dear friend Penny.  Her writings included a prayer she wrote this morning at 3am and she’s given me permission to share it with you.

Heavenly Father, I come into your presence to love and adore you. Thank you for your love and your desire for union with me and with my friends. We welcome all that you wish to do through this healing prayer. We open ourselves to communication with you and Jesus through the ministry of the Holy Spirit. Come Holy Spirit, anoint us with healing so deep it reaches back into our blood line; with healing so wide it impacts our friends and relatives; with healing so high it draws us into your holiness. Holy Spirit, come with your fire. Father God, by your grace we come to you with all that we are and all that we ever hope to be. We are your children, born of your love. Jesus brought us into your presence and you alone satisfy our souls. You are in us and we are in you; this is the path of healing for our souls. By your grace we come into your presence with simple, trusting assurance, certain of your love for us. In your presence all fear and insecurity melts away and deep hurts become healing memories. In your presence we are strengthened and filled with hope. Father in heaven, we breathe the breath of heaven deep inside our spirits. Your heaven flows through us. May the light of your glory be present with us throughout each day. We love you Father. Father, we choose to live this one precious life in a way that honors your holy name. You call us to worship, and we come. Oh Father, let all that is within us cry holy. Let every wound of our past dissolve in the light of your wonderful presence. Turn our weaknesses into strengths, our failures into victories, our sorrows into joy. Perfect all that concerns us as we gaze upon your holiness. Father, your kingdom of love is in our hearts. It is not we who live but Christ who lives in us. We are identified with our risen Lord and your kingdom is established in our spirits. In coming to know Jesus, we are discovering who we are, precious Lord. Your kingdom has come into our emotions and they are in a healthy balance. Your kingdom has come into our minds, and it is sanctified. Your kingdom has come into our bodies, and we are becoming healthy. Your kingdom rules our hearts and we live a life of richness and depth. Your kingdom has come into our mouths and we speak words that heal and liberate. Because your kingdom rules our lives, we are resilient and filled with hope in all circumstances. Father, our hearts beat with your heart. For us, to live is Christ. Thank you for bringing our lives into harmony with heaven. Thank you for teaching us how to walk with Jesus in his resurrected life. Thank you that the attitudes of heaven are our attitudes. We think your thoughts and walk in your presence. We carry the light of heaven wherever we go. Father, you have always taken care of us and you always will. You give us what we need each day and prepare us for our tomorrow's. Our faith is growing. Thank you for our daily joy that draws us to worship when sadness comes. Thank you for your healing balm that soothes the day's aches and pains. Thank you for your perfect love that soaks away our fear. Your tender daily care in every area of need draws us to our knees in worship. Thank you for walking with us day by day. In our growing friendship, you have never failed us, ever. We love you, Jesus you are the bread of heaven. Father, thank you for your gift of mercy in our lives. Your mercy that reaches our hearts, because we have forgiven those who hurt us. We confess our sins and receive forgiveness. We are free from condemnation and safely united to you. Your truth has made us free and we love you. Jesus, by the grace of the cross we let go of bitterness, resentment, and unforgiveness. If there are hidden roots of unforgiveness, thank you for shining your light on them. We entrust this area of our lives to you. Thank you for turning injury into compassion and hurts into intercessions. Forgiveness brings heaven to earth. Lord, we thank you for keeping us on a path that leads to holiness. With your grace we see temptation when it comes and brush it off the path. Your love is stronger than the urge to sin. Thank you for healing any areas of our souls that might be vulnerable to temptation. Jesus, you are our shepherd and our hiding place. You guide us to safe pastures. We are responsive to the voice of the Holy Spirit who warns us of trouble ahead. Thank you for protecting us from every evil and for bringing us the gift of peace. You have broken the chain of oppression, delivered us from depression, anger, guilt, and fear. At the name of Jesus every knee shall bow; addictions, perversions, hopelessness, worthlessness, loneliness and despair must bend their knee to the name of Jesus. We cast down every argument and every high thing in us that exalts itself against the knowledge of God. We bring every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ. Thank you for giving us the power over all the power of the enemy. Nothing shall hurt us. You have given us a spirit of praise and worship, which is our strength in the face of the enemy. Thank you for your armor, your name, your blood, your spirit. No weapon formed against me shall prosper. Father, every gift you  have given us, every dream, every talent, every possession, every resource and hope for the future, we return to you with love. All is yours. May your name be glorified, may your kingdom come. Take Lord, receive, all our liberty, our memory, our understanding, our entire will. All that we have and possess. You have given all to us; to you, O Lord, we return it. All is yours. Dispose of it wholly according to your will. Give us your love and your grace, for this is sufficient for us. Amen!!!

~Prayer By Penny Shire


 

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

The Fragrance of His Knowledge 

Now thanks be to God who always leads us in triumph in Christ, and through us diffuses the fragrance of His knowledge in every place. For we are to God the fragrance of Christ among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing. (2 Corinthians 2:14-15)

Whenever the Romans won a major military victory they would celebrate with a spectacular parade. The commanding general would lead the procession in a magnificent chariot, followed by his soldiers, musicians, and other officials. Then, soldiers would lead the defeated enemies through the city. As a part of the celebration, the Romans would burn fragrances on altars, filling the entire city with a pleasant aroma. Even those who could not witness the triumphal procession could hear the victory music and smell the pleasing incense. Everyone would know that their army had been victorious. The special fragrance came to symbolize victory to anyone who smelled it.

Paul used this vivid imagery to describe the effect that Christians should have in the world. According to Paul, God permeates our lives with the fragrance of the knowledge of Christ. Everywhere we go, our lives should demonstrate to others that Christ is victorious. As unbelievers observe our lives, they should become aware of the victorious power of Christ. As other Christians witness the victory Christ gives us over our sin, they can rejoice in the triumph of their Lord and gain confidence that Christ will bring victory in their lives as well.

The most compelling evidence that Christ is alive and triumphant is His activity in the lives of His people. It is a privilege to be the fragrance of Christ by which others learn of God’s life-changing power over sin. Your life ought to be convincing proof that God continues to work powerfully in the lives of His people.


 

Friday, May 30, 2008

Subject: 'Faith that doesn't ask'
I sat here and cried this morning.  I pray my faith is as real and deep as Shadrach, Meshach & Abednego.  I do not want to ever view God as a magic lamp to be rubbed for wishes.  He

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